shyshy notes: Februari 2017

If you want to know what english literature learn about , english literature learn about english and literature such as : Drama , poem , novel , writing etc . if you are not interest about that , I do not recommend you to choose this major Because if your reason just to be able speak English cas cis cus ( fluently ). You are definitely wrong . listen dude, if you want your English is good, you can take a course . there are a lot of course which can make your English better .

And if you are person who interest in literature , I recommend when you have entered this major you should take some activity which relate to this major such as : drama club, writing club etc. they can help you to improve yourself . don’t be passive student ( like me haha .. ). Seriously that is not even cool being passive student . lets explore our passion .

Some student of English literature must have same question from their environment such as :

omg dude, what you will be if you choose that major ?

hei dude, are you english student, aren’t you ? can you translate my task ?

oh really , are you english student ? so , your english very good, right . show me your ability please

hei sis , your major very easy, right . you did not have to count a number . mine is so tough .

etc.

you have prepared yourself from those question and don’t take any serious . just prove it in action . you should belive yourself that you must be successes in this way . sometimes I become weak when my friends ask about those question which like overwhelming , make me unsteady and ask to myself . whether I will success in this way or whether I capable in English, omg my English not really good, can I passed this semester ? . just tighten your seatbelt and drive strightly . you must trust yourself. If not you, who else ?.

I really want answer them like, have I ever ask you to solve my problem, because you are in law student Or have I ever ask you to heal my pain, because you are in medical student . we are still learning guys , need process and I am not like smart or diligent student who can easily accept all of lesson. yah gue bisa sih, tapi kan gua juga masih belajar jangan terlalu meremehkan napa hahahahahaa .. But thankyou to ask me that question. Because, that make me stronger and start learning, you know sometimes I can’t control my lazyness which very very big and If I can not help you to translate your task. it might be I am so dumb bukan kesalahan dari jurusannya .

don’t worry, there are a lot of field jobs for English literature, you can search on google hahahhaa …..

so , I just want remind you guys . before you choose a subject for your major. Please, make sure you are not in wrong way, don’t screw your future up. I tell you that there is no bad major . every major in university is good, it all depends on you .

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From I was elementary school, I’ve known by my friends as student who have a good rank , I always got first ranking or second place. With my opponent alternately till graduate. Even when I graduated from elementary school, I was a student who got the highest score of national exam (UN) in my class . and I had ever won the race of PPKN subject (like cerdas cermat competition) , I got third position se-Kota Tangerang. But strangely I was not proud of myself against what I had done and about my achievement. Because I know all of that happened because my ability who can memorize ( menghafal ) good enough.

Since I was in grade 3 I used to memorize, my teacher always gave materials of subject which must be memorized. From that I began used to memorize the subject , I can memorize about 5 – 6 page of my book. I memorize all kind of definition, before exam I memorize the subject first, when competition I also had to memorize the materials . all of that happened because I memorize the material, after exam was over and my memorize did not need anymore, and you know what happened ? my memorize gone and I forgot all of about the lesson . jjreeeenngggg

I don’t know, me or the system which wrong .

Later on graduated from elementary school I entered junior high school . in here I turn be quiet and super shy student, I did not have a lot of friends. I signed up a courses for all of subject but, I rarely entered the class cause I did not have any close friend, while my mother had paid for one year ahead.

I was a student who study diligently, I was afraid being late and afraid to cheat on exam. But even so I keep on low rank, it very opposite with the old me when I was in elementary school . I did not have any interested story when I was in here because, what is thing which interest become a quiet and super shy student?

nothing.

From junior high school I entered vocational school, here I had been promise to myself for not being a quiet and super shy student again. Because it was not cool at all. I started to become an active student, I signed up for organization which have outdoor activity, like camping in the hill .

I went hangout with my friends, go home almost midnight and I invite them to hangout at my home as well. Everything which have fun I did with my friends but, study together . till once, in the edge of school graduation. Some student busy about their future but me . like you was going to continue your study or decide to get a job. If you decide to continue your study you have to know. what you want to be , what your passion, what your goal , what university you want to in etc.

And I don’t know anything else, I don’t know what my passion , at that time I realized that I did not have any interest in the field . omg I feel dumb . my goal was not clear as well , when people ask me about my goal . I always say “ I want to be success person and I want to go abroad “ . oh, c’mon dude, who want to be a loser . all of people must be want to be success, my goal it was very not clear . sadly I also passed registration of SNMPTN, kind of test to enter university. I don’t even know there is test to enter university, all I did was only hangout with my friends . I was a dumb, don’t say something rude to me please .

I still had second choice, that was SBMPTN test. Some my friends take a course just for to success in this test and I did nothing -..- . I only bought an exercise book at bookstore. Why I bought that book? I did not even learned this book till the end .

And the result was ofcourse I did not success at that test .

But why I took a test, if I did not even know what major I want to in . till once my friend name of Halida said to me, if she want to choose English as her major because, if she choose that major, she is going to speak English with cas cis cus ( fluently ) and my heart was beat so fast, I thought English literature is what I was looking for. Eventhough, I don’t know what literature is . gue juga baru tau ada jurusan kayak gitu . Which I know is if I choose that major, I can speak English cas cis cus like Halida said.

From inspiration of Halida I finally here, in English literature. Even at the end Halida not enter this major . she signed up for law major .

I feel become bad student when I remember how dumb I am, why I did not care about my future.

This advice for all of you when you want to enter the university . you have to know what your goal and what your passion . that can help you to choose the better for yourself.

did I regret it ?

I don’t know . there are so much consideration and question on my head to myself which I can not write in here

The next post still have relate about English literature . so you have to read the next post.

Bye

Ps : This post I write after I see video from Gitasav , youtuber who study in germany . you can open this link ( open )

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picture from google

I don’t hate you , not angry as well .

I have a group of friends that I always feel different between them in appearance thing. I don’t know what should I wear as I meet them cause anything that I wear is always triggered attention them , I feel bothered about that . I don’t feel I do wrong or too much when I get dressed, all of on my body just normal thing. Lol I don’t even wearing jewelry . what is wrong if use shoes which have sole little bit high, some woman prefer to use that with different reason and me as well, I love use that thing cause make my confident boost up, but might be they didn’t understand. what is wrong to use lipstick which bold colors, just fine I am not using that everyday . when I put make up on my face they said “ wah, dinar you have grown be woman “ ofcourse I am 20 now and it is not underage again I am even more than 18 years old able to watch porn in this age so, whats the matter .

when I was wearing gamis you asked me if I will go to kondangan or just hang out with them . oh, geez you know using gamis surely will look like formal but ,,, that was gamis . even when I was wearing pyjamas in new years party you laugh at me and see me wearing socks when I go to bed you laugh at me as well. I just wondering why and what do I look like in their eyes, cause it just on me . if there is another wearing stuff that I wear their react just normal but not to me.

hai pals I don’t hate you, not angry as well. This atmosphere just make me feel awkward. when I come up and I said “ hi guysss.. how are you ” then I see eyes of them see me from bottom to the top . whatever if you considered me too confident or something. but heyyy I have eyes and it still works. I can see clearly your eyes like wanna say something about me . It is not about one or two even three times it was being several times and I was bothered , I told you my fellas I don’t hate you, not angry as well I just wondering why .

do I look like the cutest clown in your eyes hahahaha, Lol, Rotfl

am I really like that ?

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